Languages of Love
There are four or five languages of love. (Depending on which book you read.) The problem with the languages of love is that you need effort and sometimes it is just easier to fake it. And that's when people see you through for what you are.
Words of Love (Affirmation):
It is easy to speak words of love. The problem is that you need it to sound sincere and not as a mere tool to get what you want. Now most people react positively to the such words but then the problem is the need to ration them and use them wisely. Be too free with such platitudes and inflation will wipe out their value. Be too stingy with them and people will stop communicating with you before long. Moreover, being stingy and everyone will soon doubt your motive. Human beings soon learn to see trends. The downside with the language of love is that some people then try to balance by giving cutting or discouraging remarks. These "balancers" often think they are being frank and honest but are either being insensitive or deliberately putting others down.
Gift giving (Acts of Kindness):
It is easy to give people what they want but the problem is that if it is done too often, the recipient will simply adjust their expectation. There are plenty of people that consider their advice (usually unsourced for opinions) highly valuable. They are fools who think that their hand me downs and leftovers are extremely precious. These people need to have a reality check. I am not saying that charity does not work but if you are merely unburdening yourself, it is helpful to be less self righteous.
Physical touch:
A pat on the back, a hug or a handshake can make a difference. But if you are grifter, too many handshake reduces the value fast. I am not a touchy feely person so I am a bad example as well as commentator on this. But it has its moments.
Quality time:
This is the most rare of the language due to our modern busyness. But it is the most expensive. If it is poorly appreciated or badly misused, it will be extremely soul draining. There is nothing wrong with this unless people assume that money or enthusiasm can substitute for quality time. It is seldom given so I have rarely encounter forgeries.
The main problem with the languages of love is that certain people are deaf towards certain languages. Others are extremely sensitive them. On a regular basis, gifting giving and words of love are the most often used but they are not exactly acceptable in certain culture. I am not an expert on this topic and I will update more on this matter.
Words of Love (Affirmation):
It is easy to speak words of love. The problem is that you need it to sound sincere and not as a mere tool to get what you want. Now most people react positively to the such words but then the problem is the need to ration them and use them wisely. Be too free with such platitudes and inflation will wipe out their value. Be too stingy with them and people will stop communicating with you before long. Moreover, being stingy and everyone will soon doubt your motive. Human beings soon learn to see trends. The downside with the language of love is that some people then try to balance by giving cutting or discouraging remarks. These "balancers" often think they are being frank and honest but are either being insensitive or deliberately putting others down.
Gift giving (Acts of Kindness):
It is easy to give people what they want but the problem is that if it is done too often, the recipient will simply adjust their expectation. There are plenty of people that consider their advice (usually unsourced for opinions) highly valuable. They are fools who think that their hand me downs and leftovers are extremely precious. These people need to have a reality check. I am not saying that charity does not work but if you are merely unburdening yourself, it is helpful to be less self righteous.
Physical touch:
A pat on the back, a hug or a handshake can make a difference. But if you are grifter, too many handshake reduces the value fast. I am not a touchy feely person so I am a bad example as well as commentator on this. But it has its moments.
Quality time:
This is the most rare of the language due to our modern busyness. But it is the most expensive. If it is poorly appreciated or badly misused, it will be extremely soul draining. There is nothing wrong with this unless people assume that money or enthusiasm can substitute for quality time. It is seldom given so I have rarely encounter forgeries.
The main problem with the languages of love is that certain people are deaf towards certain languages. Others are extremely sensitive them. On a regular basis, gifting giving and words of love are the most often used but they are not exactly acceptable in certain culture. I am not an expert on this topic and I will update more on this matter.
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