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Everybody thinks I’m a comedian but that’s not quite true. A comedian is someone who says funny things, a comic is someone who says things funny. I’m neither. I’m someone who says unfunny things. I say unfunny things in an unfunny way, and somehow it seems to end up funny

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike. Oscar Wilde

A Fool lies here who tried to hustle the East.